Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Confessional...

Again, this blog is helping me face some things in my life that I've been in denial over...I've been in an over consumption state, while thinking that I'm pretty frugal because I don't go to Starbucks daily.  Over consumption that is evidenced in food, drink, health, money and I've finding that it's harder to break habits than I thought.  

Food:
I'm already over budget...have been for the last week.  I did what I could last week to make it Father's Day and then shopped because we hosted the festivities.  It was pot-luck, which helped, but we bought the main dish items...which is fine, in years past we would have dropped $150 easy on taking family out to lunch.  Plus, hubby made a mental point to grill portion friendly servings so we had left over meat to use for the week.  I'm trying to figure what to make for dinner and I need some "items" at the store...but, I'm not going to the store and need to make do...at least, that's my resolve now, hopefully, it will be the same come 4 p.m. 

Drink:
Our alcohol tab is outta control...even drinking at home (versus going out) is literally draining our grocery budget.  However, hubby and I recently found ourselves sans kids and a gorgeous summer evening in our new home and he went out and got a bottle of wine so we could sit on our porch and savor the moment.  It was awesome.  It was not planned.  It was a poignant moment in our summer.  It was not budgeted.  These "moments" seem to happen often...like we are celebrating...and in many ways we are...but, why does it have to include alcohol?

Health:
Surprisingly, this area has been pretty good.  I've been going to the gym daily and really trying...however, no progress due to many empty calories from wine or mixed drinks.  So, hubby and I made a pact...we are BOTH going to avoid alcohol so that we can support each other and our goals.  This means that Happy Hour with my girlfriends will need to be restructured...and our "moments" to celebrate need to be commemorated in a different manner...but, the goal is improved health.

Money:
We have been mindful of spending and it's noticeable in our bank account and the fact that we are not overdrawn.  We just moved and have cut our expenses, but, we still have our other home that we are trying to rent.  We are in a quandary and will need to make some decisions soon if we are unable to find renters.  I'm dreading all of that, but, at the same time want to get a move in the right direction financially.  I'm thankful we were able to buy at a very low price in a nice neighborhood.  

Overall, I feel hopeful...I feel like I'm really seeing myself and my habits for what they are...unhealthy spiritually, physically and financially...and they are all intertwined.  I want change NOW.  I want to be out of debt NOW.  I want to lose 25 lbs NOW.  And I know that it doesn't work that way...and though that is frustrating and at times I feel defeated....(the "I will never" set in..."I will never be able to wear my skinny clothes"..."I will never pay off debt"...you get the drift), it's imperative that I stay accountable to keep my path straight.

So, for dinner, I'm thawing out the meat and pinto beans I made last week-adding taco seasoning, cooking the veggies I have on hand (zucchini, eggplant, tomato, bell pepper) adding some cheese and place in a tortilla for the family (I will just eat as is-no tortilla for me <sniff, sniff> )....I'm not going to the store...we don't have any wine in the house which is fine by me...and hubby and I plan to take a walk after dinner...maybe a magical moment will happen...:)

2 comments:

  1. Recognizing what needs to be done is half the battle! There is nothing wrong with celebrating every now and again, just budget for it so you won't feel guilty! :)!

    You are on the right track, you can do it!!

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  2. It's hard to lose weight and eat right. I've lost 35 lbs in the past 1.5 years. Seriously. It's coming off at a crawl, but I can't give up, and you shouldn't either.

    Now if only I could apply that diligence to my finances...

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